Nicki's Blog

Absorption

I returned from 4 days of voter outreach in Las Vegas yesterday in a daze. My voicemail was full�first of well-wishes for my trip, then of consoling messages of support. Strangely, I got home, performed in a dance piece, did some homework, went to sleep, and then woke up to teach statistics. . . I carried on today, almost as normal, but the sickened feeling in my belly and soul won�t let me feel normal. Many things are different after Nov 2nd, and I am fearful about the next four years. Our country is remarkably divided on issues of tremendous importance, and I imagine those differences will only gain saliency as the days pass. I am bracing for the wave that is going to roll over us as the powerful exert their ideas onto our lives and rights.
But those who know me know that I am not one to focus on such dark things, for I�ve found that it is a waste of energy and a distraction from positive potentials. I would be false to deny experiencing the sinking misery, but I would be more false to let it suck me in.
This week, I joined over 1000 other activists, in Las Vegas alone, in one of many rallies in that area, to get out the vote. The energy of the strangers from the west coast all converging with the common goal of progress and empowerment and change, all chanting together, exchanging political shwag, complimenting each other on our contributions to the movement. . . it was incredible. See this link for a photo of me and Ry in line at the staging area�we made the paper! http://www.reviewjournal.com/lvrj_home/2004/Nov-02-Tue-2004/news/25154795.html

We hit the suburbs like an army, bringing information, encouragement, transportation, and potential to the people�s homes. I ran around in a ridiculous voter superhero outfit carried over from Halloween. Children at the door wondered who I was, one family thought that they had won something, and another thought I might be crazy. . . but most of them laughed, most of them remarked at the passion and energy behind our efforts in their neighborhood. Most of them went and voted. Check out this photo of Ry, Richard, and me in LV:
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Jesse drove one woman in labor to the polls so she could vote before going to the hospital. Yes hit the homeless shelter and teen mom centers to facilitate their votes. The beautiful women in my van flirted, cajoled, and compelled the people to the polls. One DV volunteer worked so hard in the hot sun pounding the pavement that he suffered a heart attack. The energy was so strong and the effort so powerful. A movement, a grassroots army of peaceful acts. It was beautiful to watch.

So, actually, it worked. We sought to register those who weren�t and empower the disenfranchised. We sought to gather the energy of those around us and share it with our fellow citizens to teach them about their options, their power, and the need for their involvement. We sought to build community, friendships, and responsibility. And it worked. All of those things have happened. Perhaps it did not lead to the outcome we had anticipated, the outcome we had longed for. Yet, I refuse to allow the past 10 months of work to become a �means to an end� and lose focus because our �end� did not develop. The process, the actions, the enlightenment, the joy, the growth, the pain�it IS what it is all about. I would rather have all that I have gained from the past 10 months with DrivingVotes and have this disappointing ending than trade it for a Kerry victory minus the movement. Perhaps that seems na�ve, but I believe that these events have changed me, my country, and the people within it for the better. We have built a new generation of activists. Tomorrow and the next day and the next day, you will feel it.

Talkin bout a revolution

I was just reading Leighton's incredibly articulate and educated blog, and all I could think about was swaying in the aisles with my arms around my friends singing "Revolution" along with Tracy Chapman at the benefit concert she threw for us this weekend. For me, "revolution" is a word that belongs to the liberals now. Everyone has been freaking out about the polls and the impression that Bush is leading everywhere, and I keep telling them, "You don't realize how many new progressive voters there are out there! The polls don't even consider all of the new voters in their estimates--we are going to nail them with an unexpected avalanche of new progressive votes in November. They won't even see it coming!" Over the past 3 days, the lovely NYTimes has validated this point, arguing about the bias in polling and the upsurge of new voters from "tons of little voter reg projects popping up all over the swing states." Eh hem. . .driving votes, anyone???
And if I ever doubted that this movement had meaning or purpose or value, holding hands with the friends that I drove across the country with, smiling ear to ear with tears streaming down my face, belting out lyrics to songs about new beginnings and empowering ourselves and revolting against hate and tyranny, I looked around me at the intimate Century Ballroom this Saturday night as Tracy Chapman cooly mixed song with activism and realized that little pipe dreams can go a long long way. The mixture of purpose and passion and people is a compelling and contagious one.
One of my friends was visiting that night and got to ask Tracy, "why Driving Votes? Why did you decide to help them?" And even though I was appalled at the bravado of her question, I delighted in Tracy's answer: "Because they were explicitly partisan, and I wanted to work with an intimate group that was reaching out to the underrepresented and was not afraid to speak out against Bush." Lucky us for being so loud and little. Thank you Tracy for believing in us and our cause and celebrating with us this weekend. Thank you for singing songs about Revolutions and then telling the crowd to go register voters with us in the morning. Thank you for your damn fine heart, mind, and voice.

Paradigm shifts

I�m not the same person I was last month. Most people usually aren�t, and to write that feels trite. But last month I contributed to the changing lives of a great deal of people, so it seems my change is exponentially building off of that. . .
Last month, along with another noble soul, I led the DVRV August Caravan across the United States. The entire west to east coast, ocean to ocean. It was a tremendously powerful and ephemeral two weeks in my life. I�ve been told it was powerful in others� lives as well. I can�t imagine sitting idly by as our nation slips away ever again. I am certain now, knowing firsthand, that we each have incredible power as individuals and collectively can move mountains, even big ugly Texas ones.
I am struck by the lingering memories of the people I registered to vote last month. A Japanese reporter followed me through an impoverished, crime-ridden neighborhood in Columbus, Ohio as I knocked on doors labeled �BEWARE of ferocious dog� and �Trespassers will be shot!� Her presence added a surreal quality to the afternoon, her camera snapping and questions adding depth to the experience. I registered people fixing their car in the street that had been stolen 3 times that year and a 50 year old couple that had never voted before because they never understood how to sign up. I looked ridiculous enough in my ruffled green skirt, yellow DV shirt, and American flag wrist bands that no one bothered me, they figured I must be legitimate or a looney TinkerBelle who made a wrong turn at �The Bottoms.� Residents were suspicious, many were incredulous, but after persistent explanations of the nature of my purpose, many registered to vote. Some even got excited and agreed to put a �remember to vote� sign in their yard�even though they figured it would �get stolen or shot at within a day.� I haven�t been the same since that day.
I haven�t been the same since I bore witness to the phenomenal beauty and power of having more than a dozen friends commit significant portions of their lives to empowering and supporting their fellow citizens. Many of us rarely slept and certainly rarely slept well on that adventurous journey across 3,000 miles and 8 cities in the bumpy at-times-smelly RV. But we loved it. We shared so much joy at the collectiveness and bondedness that comes from a common goal and shared vision and unified passion. We shared the magical sense of change that comes from seeing this country up close, in the little corners of the neighborhoods, local parks, and road stops. We shared the awakening of realizing that this is the kind of thing that every citizen should be doing at some point in her life, to know thyself, thy countrymen, and thy country. We shared beers too. And swimming and dancing. We rapped our way home in a huge group dance through the streets of Pittsburgh after registering voters all night in clubs, and I got to drive. There is no way I am the same person after that.
So many amazing people contributed to our adventure. Certainly the DV folks who make it all happen, but importantly the momentary contributors who shared their homes, their kitchens, their parties, their waffles, their club connections, and their support along the way. I have so much more faith in community, in the capacity for selfless giving, and in the power of friendship than I�ve ever had before. I miss the people and the moments like missing a drug. It was an unparalleled high�completely legal, no residual, and sustaining for weeks.
If you�ve never done anything like this, now is the time to do it. Flights are cheap, shared gas money is too, relative to spending your money away on therapy or alcohol to deal with your apathy about this country. Get out there. Take your friends or realize you will make friends. You�ll never be the same. And then you will understand people who write trite blogs about being changed. Maybe you will start your own website. Maybe you will change the world a bit. Or at least earn a hellova political t-shirt collection.

redefining optimism

Every good journey holds many unexpected turns, and the journey of Driving Votes is more than good. Seven months ago, I would have laughed out loud if you had told me that I would be spending all of my free time discussing politics, meeting strangers in distant states and encouraging them to embrace their rights, roadtripping in an RV as my summer vacation, dreaming about votes, nightmaring about not enough votes, and spending my dating life with the frazzled director of our non-profit. But here I sit, about to head down to Oregon to register voters and spend a bit of time camping with friends and refusing to talk about Driving Votes�just how I will do both of those at once is a bit perplexing! I am a billboard of grassroots, my friends joke about it when I enter the room. All of my colleagues ask for updates every day�I tell them to get on the mailing list damnit!
I just spent a good chunk of time today attempting to obtain Loaner RVs for our trip�it has been far more difficult than I ever imagined it would be to get sponsors. So much love for this project, such an outpouring of emotion and support, but so little funding to make it possible. I have been sitting watching all of my friends work their tails off for months for FREE and adding incredible stress to their lives and relationships because of it. I am shocked that groups are sitting on millions of dollars raised in the name of democracy and regime change, sporting fancy offices and travel budgets unable to decide what to spend their money on, while members of our group use our own personal cash to finance our gas, t-shirts, flyers, energy, and time and SLAM democratic voters down in PILES at the voter registration office! It just boggles me. So many projects with Big Business systems stating that they hate that very dimension of the current administration. I must admit it is disheartening to talk with folks who state they are paying top dollar for people to register voters and flyer neighborhoods and mail out newsletters, but we have an army of concerned citizens willing to do all of that for FREE but we can�t even get our gas paid for. . .
I�ve spent my life being told I am a �Pollyanna� always unrealistically optimistic�it has gotten me a tremendous way in life thus far, and I don�t plan to shift my framework any time soon, but I sure am getting tired of telling all of my DV clan that someone is going to step in and help us make this happen any day now. . . I can�t wait until someone makes a believer out of them.
But on a lighter note, as is my general tendency, the lack of financing for the beautiful structure that is Driving Votes that enables all the collaboration of ambitious democratic energies across the country is actually a marvelous challenge. I am astounded at the level of passion and commitment that my fellow members have for this project and the people involved in it. Every minute of every day there is some amazing friend of mine, or a friend of theirs, on their computer responding to an email from someone 2,000 miles away asking how to make a change. And we answer. It might take a while for us to wade through them all and find time after our other jobs and family lives, but we will get to them. Then �them� will get to all of those aimless folks out there waiting to be registered, waiting for someone to remind them of their rights, their duty, their need to vote. And then I feel all positive again. I love this country.

Further evidence for action

SO I find myself in northern Idaho, working for the summer with "troubled teens" at a wildnerness boarding school. Ah, the things we will do for adventure and a paycheck. . . But as I type late at night after work, harried and rushing to coordinate a cross-country trip for 20+ people from a state away from home, I am realizing at an even more real level why the current administration must be dethroned. I kind of knew what northern Idaho was like, land of militia and anarchy, but here for four days I am experiencing a land motivated by different ideals than those of my comrades in Seattle. Every truck has a pro-Bush sticker. Most folks I meet make a comment freely about how pleasing it is that there aren't so many diverse people to "confuse things out here." The mental health practices out here are not regulated to current ethical standards of care, and people feel good about their "independence." I had to argue about whether eye color was a legitimate predictor of criminality yesterday, with poorly veiled ethnic discrimination heating the air between us. And most certainly there is no respect for the freedom of an individual to choose their life partner or the control over his or her body. Lots of loggers, lots of NRA stickers. I guess they don't support the invasion of their privacy out here, but otherwise they are pretty excited to carve Ronnie's face into a mountain. I am in a scary place. A friend pointed out to me that MORE of America is like here than like Seattle where I spend my life. That scared the crap out of me.
So tonight I emailed my friends and colleagues and started asking them to donate money so I could register more voters in swing states. I feel like an ass asking for money, but sitting here and experiencing this, I can't think of a better way to do something. I am terrified.

RAUCUS CAUCUS

I am pumped. Exhausted and pumped. At the same time. Which means my mind is racing while my heart pumps while I sit on the floor with my eyes half closed. . . Just left a ridiculously long district caucus . . . over 1,000 delegates showed up for the 43rd district caucus. That means it took 9 hours to complete the nominations and elections for state delegates!!!
Richard and I took the opportunity to make an announcement on the mike to the waiting crowd, half to energize and entertain them as they waited for vote counting and half because we couldn't imagine a crowd of more likely candidates for our project!!! We made the announcement, the 1,000 folks cheered and clapped. We sat down. Minutes later we had checks and cash in our hands for donations. People offered equipment for rallies and vehicles for the trips and wanted to get involved. "I have family in Ohio where you could sleep" they said. Or, "I used to run a college program in Ohio that feeds and shelters folks, we could totally hook your road trip crew up when you come through!" It was amazing. The amount of enthusiasm and energy and passion and follow through in that crowd was so contagious. If only I had no need for sleep. If only I could channel all into DV work.
This whole matching T-shirts thing really works. I tell ya, put on a cute DV t-shirt and grab a mike folks--the people are ready and willing to listen. . . It helps if they are progressive democrats too, but hey, try it anywhere!!! Plus, I was elected to the State level caucus!!! Can't wait to wear my t-shirt at that one!!!

DV Bake sale Mania

I am really digging this. Slightly overwhelmed by how much energy is being returned to us and how many individuals and organizations are reaching out to connect with us. . .
Saturday started with brunch at Jesse and Kate's--damn fine super fresh style biscuits and fresh whipping cream and yummy fruit to power us through the day- a Seattle style breakfast of champions. I also had a soy latte of course. . .
Then we scattered to the winds, 3 on bikes heading north, 2 driving to the far reaches of King County and two east to the lake. Fabulous matching yellow t-shirts unified us in color and purpose. And we schmoozed, and we purchased copious quantities of baked goods and we made friends and then we had beer.

Spreading out in teams all day to connect with as many "Bake Off for Democracy" bake sales was such a fabulous idea--we connected with so many cool and active people who share our views and are itching to join us on our trip. Excellent strategizing on our part I must say. The power of unifying over baked goods has been underestimated all these years.

We recruited a guy at the bar to start a Tacoma chapter. We met Kerry campaign people who were excited to first hear about us. We ran into people who actually had already heard about us from their friends--evidence of grass roots effectiveness, considering our website just went public this week! Old ladies hugged us because they were proud of us. Crazy day. Excellent day. We have joined the revolution and it is so damn cool.

Jack Kerouac said it well

"The only people for me are the mad ones, the ones who are mad to live, mad to talk, mad to be saved, desireous of everything at the same time, the ones who never yawn or say a commonplace thing, but burn, burn, burn, like fabulous yellow roman candles exploding like spiders across the stars. . ."

We at Driving Votes are MAD TO TAKE DOWN GEORGE. And we are going to BURN BURN BURN our candles at both ends to make our trips work for our group and groups across the country to contribute to the retirement of the Bush Empire.

(I am mad mad tired and passionate today)

Um, blogging is wierd

I am in a PhD program in PSYCHOLOGY. While I am completely capable of using the web, it is primarily something I use to do literature searches to write amazing things about children, and neighborhoods, and the importance of good parenting--not do wax poetic about my politics or my summer plans. But here I blog, because I've decided that it is a part of the project, a part of the group experience, a part of the fabulous technical team members that driving votes possesses, and the exhibitionist in me needs more outlets than the dance floor. . . Plus, I'm dating a web-guy now and feel some weird need to increase my webness.
I called some friends on the East Coast last night and told them about our website launch today. I feel so incredibly excited to have something to direct them to so they can see that this project is for real and there are tons of exciting people involved committing tremendous amounts of time and energy to the mission. I can't explain how fabulous it is to work with your friends on a combined goal that has greater meaning and power than the sum of its parts. I have gained so much appreciation for the diverse talents and passions of my friends and the crew they connect me to through this project. My friends are so smart and driven and can actually walk the walk!! This is such an incredible year so far. When I imagine what we can accomplish, my ridiculous grin takes over my entire body. Our ball is rolling . . . can't wait to steam roll George.

Wow, this sure takes a lot of effort

So today, my very sick and very cute boyfriend is running around frantically trying to finish up flyers and logos to get them to printers by the end of the day. We spent our "date" last night finishing things up and driving around town to gather parts of the designs from various members of our fabulous driving votes cast. I am beginning to realize that our adventure is going to take even more energy than we imagined. I guess I'm happy to invest it though--I'll think of it as front "money/energy" to prevent four MORE years of lost energy in lamentation and woe. . .

Ever caught the fever?

Why would a rediculously busy grad student like myself spend her summer vacation and every spare moment until then with a project like Driving Votes? Because my friends are intelligent, fun, ACTIVE, and want to make a meaningful impact on the world, and I want to ride in the RV with them and make a difference instead of just talking about it. . . Catch the fever and pass it on to your friends! Activate, Invigorate, and Commit to an amazing adventure that proves you do more than complain about the state of affairs and swing a state!